Updated: Mar 30, 2020
Whether it's singing "I ride fa my _____ I die fa my _____" or belting out the Girlfriends or Living Single theme songs, when you hear them you think of someone or some ones.
Recently, I went out with my best friends for the first time in months. Two things that hit me hard were: I need to get out more for my mental health and friendship is important.
Like you I've seen some of the thought-provoking posts posing the question "why can women forgive men who did them wrong quicker than they can their best friends?" (Ironically, often times I see men forgiving each other quicker than women, but I'm writing from my point of you. So fellas, is that true?) For me that is loaded and the answer is layered. If I'm involved with a man, there has to be a purpose and depending on where we are we are entering into another dimension so to speak so those two can't always be compared. Putting that concept to the side, with friends namely best friends, a break can be very hurtful, sometimes so much so that it's difficult to articulate. My best friend had apologized for something that I didn't even express hurt about and that resonated with me.
I've known her for nearly 20 years. That's most of my life. Before major life crises, high school diplomas, college degrees, bills, jobs, businesses, boyfriends, and so many other milestones and hurdles, she was there so when there is a sting, it really stings.
Real friends see you at your best, worst, and everything in between. As a Believer, my bad lapses in judgment and bad decisions can have me ashamed and my real close friends see much of them. I expect them to lift me up, as I will them. They know secrets. They know vulnerabilities. They know. Of course there are friends you may not be beefed out with, but life happens so y'all see each other every blue moon and it's still love every time. That's fine and I love them all real talk, but with certain relationships that doesn't cut it. This night out was proof of that. Though not a romantic relationship, it takes trust and nourishment. This is why when you go too long without feeding such an important lifeline, it is hard to continue growing, to forgive and reconcile but not impossible.
The Bible shows us the importance of friendship through sharpening, correcting and comforting one another; praying for each other and rejoicing with one another. We were not made to be islands, which is why relationship building and getting out the house also fall under self-care. Take care of yourselves and check on the homies today.
If no one has shown you today, I love you but God loves you better.