Have you ever been in the midst of cooking and you knick your finger with a sharp knife? It stings a little. Sometimes you might not see it. Other times there is blood. When I have those moments, I clean myself up, put on a glove, and clean the area and keep it pushing like I'm on Chopped or something. I try to keep my chef's knives sharp, so later on after knicking myself whether needing immediate attention or not I feel it. It stings like a cuss word when I'm down from the high of cooking in my element.
That can be how it is when loved ones come at you with little digs. Typically, it's just a banter because most families have their own running jokes. Lord knows my family goes in on each other, mkay! Plus, there are levels. Everyone doesn't get the same cappin' privileges especially when they're only some relatives' little friends you tolerate, you feel me? Even with all of the normal back-and-forth there's a line that crosses over to straight-up hating and sneak-dissing. Some folks don't even know they're salty and I ain't talkin' 'bout Matthew 5:15 salty NOW THAT'S THAT FLAVA HONEY BE THE SALT OF THE EARTH BOO. These peeps are just good-fa-nothin' salty that's just how they are, but when will we not allow them to get a pass for not growing as a person? We often hear "that's just how ____ is", as if that's okay?
Watch the folks who diminish your accomplishments, but want you to cheer at any given moment. The ones who try to dim your light. The ones who insult your growth by flipping it with phrases like "trial and error got you here not talent". What about raw talent that needs to be polished but having no one in your realm to mentor you? So much potential is wasted when folks are too discouraged to stay the course. These little cuts play their role.
Often in the Black community, we see this. Unfortunately, we as a culture -namely in Black working class and impoverished communities- aren't posed to a lot anywhere from extensive forms of cuisine, financial literacy, sports uncommon to Black and Brown people, exploration, travel, and so much more so the average Caucasian experiences routinely even when not above working middle class. Therefore, when someone in the family is trying something new not only to one's self but the immediate family and possibly the whole village, not everyone is supportive. Some of it is the fear of the unknown, but on the other hand some of our "cousins" as we say like to reap benefits without even sowing.
The little cuts that sting are typically from people from round the way, the ones who you grew up with, your family by blood or by experience, them proclaimed day ones and such. Those minor digs can heal quickly which is why most times they don't hurt too bad, but when they keep coming and you continue to slice the same area, a larger cut then a wound forms when unaddressed.
To the person who is reminded of where they started not as a testament of growth but as a reminder that you weren't always poppin', know that you poppin' now and you were then, too. You started boo! Likely when you began you didn't have much guidance. Whether mainly self-taught in whatever you're doing or with many teachers, shout out to you for listening to the heart beating inside you. Just because no one else has done it in your family, your community, or ever for that matter doesn't mean you can't! If it's it inside you, bring it out! So when they throw "trial and errors" in your face regardless of intention be it saltiness or ignorance, take it as a reminder of growth and be grateful.
Sometimes inherent ability comes easy over time. Use your gift naturally then learn how to use it powerfully. Be you unapologetically you! God made you on purpose, so live on purpose, walking in purpose, MKAY!
If no one has shown you today, I love you but God loves you better.
Be blessed.
-K.T.B.
P.S. Don't forget to check out Kenny's Kitchen Therapy. New episodes coming soon.
Another P.S. Another factor to be noted is that Black excellence doesn't leave room for many errors if any. For those raised like me on the reality that Black people have to be twice as good to be treated with half the respect if that, we had to do the norm but do it well and keep it pushing. Ingenuity and creativity aren't always cultivated properly though so much of our people have it in our veins. Think of how we can change the world if we use our tools properly, if we exude the right kind of saltiness -that Matthew 5:13 saltiness. Think of what we can do when we stop hatin'. What folks don't always see is that what I can do isn't just for me. What you can do shouldn't just be for you either. I'm not saying you alone have to provide for the village and let freeloaders ride on your back at all. I'm saying in a community we're supposed to support and ride for each other. The vision I was blessed with builds community, mentors young people, enlightens, and will also create jobs -not deadend jobs, real jobs and career building. Let's do better my people. I love y'all and that's facts. Peace.